We all know those people in our lives. The ones we are bound to in some way - maybe they are our brother, boss, sister, in-laws, a friend of a friend. And no matter how much we try, they rub us the wrong way.
Who knows, maybe they seem to be the favored sibling or you can't meet their expectations - real or imagined - or you wonder how they always manage to get blessings before you.
They are porcupines in our lives and at times they can be hard to love. Our human natures calls to us to leave them be. Danger signs pop-up when we spot them on the other side of Walmart and warning bells go off. We hate being in groups with them because we inevitably believe we can't match up or that they are judging us or we compare ourselves to them and lose our joy.
In her book,
Uninvited, Lysa Terkeurst says, "I often assign thoughts to others that they never actually think. I hold them accountable to harsh judgments they never make. And I own a rejection from them they never made or gave me." (pg. 29)
But God says we are to love everyone, even the porcupines - maybe especially the porcupines. In Galatians 5:14, we are instructed to "love our neighbor as we love ourselves." Nowhere in the scripture does it say "sometimes" or "when we feel like it" or "when they aren't annoying us." No God says to love them with no qualifier attached. This means when we feel like it and when we don't. Even when they've stuck us with one of their quills - we need to love them.
The problem is that those people in our lives - they are often the hardest to love. We want life, and our relationships, to be like the line at K&W - someone asks us what and who went want, what we need and we pick it up as we go and pass on what we don't. The problem is that we don't get that option. Often God puts porcupines in our lives to teach us - humility, patience, forgiveness, self-restraint, love.
On the night of the last supper, Judas was a porcupine in Jesus' life - Jesus probably didn't see him as that - He was too loving and Godly for that - but we can recognize Judas as one. Christ's interactions with him show us how we should interact with those we are having a hard time loving. In John 13:18-30, Jesus
knew that Judas was going to betray him - hurt him - humiliate him - but even though He had the power to destroy Judas where he sat, He didn't. No, Jesus forgave Judas of the crime he was about to commit towards him. Not to help Judas, not for Judas' benefit, but because Jesus knew He couldn't take that sin with him to the cross. Jesus had to love Judas even though He knew what was going to happen.
Mark 11:25-26 says "and when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins." Forgiving and loving those porcupines in your life isn't necessarily for their benefit but for yours. You can't enter into your Father with unforgiveness in your heart. Now, I'm not saying you have to accept how they treat you, condone their actions or be anyone's door mat, but I am telling you that justice won't come this side of eternity. If you demand those that hurt you get hurt as well, you will only suffer in the end. The Message's version of Psalm 11:7 says "God's business is putting things right." While we may want to make those who are hard to love more "loveable", we don't have that power - only God does. And sometimes that's the hard part - remembering we can't do it, fix it, change their perceptions of us - only God can.
The best we can do is remember that sometimes we can be hard to love too. Don't forget that sometimes you can be a porcupine too. It's like Bishop TD Jakes once said, "if you can succeed at loving imperfect people then it becomes plausible that somebody could love imperfect you."
